The void to be filled

There's this void in me.
Somehow religion used to be a huge part of my life.
I used to look forward to going to church on Saturday and Sunday.
But its now as if i cant be bothered.
Disillusionment has set in, confusion over whether i should go.

Its like church ar?
Aiyah, dont care la.

ok, fatigue is one reason.
But many a time, i do wake up early, only to see that there aint a desire (if thats the word) to go to church.
Its not as if i dont believe, but its just.......i dont know.

It doesnt help that both parents are pressuring me to go.
I mean, hey its my life.
If i was the one that backslided, it has to be that has to see the light.
I have to be the one who must find my way again, and preferably unaided.
I want to see the light, but i'd like to do it at my own pace.