I feel like Haley

These days, i feel like the kid from the six sense (Haley j Osmend).
But instead of seeing dead people, i see people i want dead.

Its been especially so this past week.
I dont know why, but i seem to have all these, as some classmates would say, "surpressed feelings".
But i cant help it, this week has been quite rough, and led me to be rather uptight.
I even had to go through some therapy on Wednesday (watching "that 70s show").
But even then, the world looked like a nicer place for just that half an hour.

The thing is, yeah, school's been a bit tough, but it seems as if the anger is being derived from people.
Yet at the same time, after mixing up with these asses, i go to my real friends, and voila.
i'm happy.
How can this be where people are both the pleasures and pain?
Sometimes without my good friends, i feel alone, caught between bars without an avenue of escape.

Some smart ass said:

Dont cry because its over,
Smile because it happened.

yeah, sometimes, i really thank God for my friends.
The ones i'm closest to always are there to put a smile on my face.
I really do not know what i'd do without them.

Sometimes, i feel like i keep getting myself into deeper and deeper holes full of shit.
but then i somehow manage to come out.
And i have this inkling feeling thats its because of my friends.

So all you people, you know who you are.
Thank you, so much.

To the rest of the people i want dead,
FUCK YOU ALL.

PW- practically worthless

P roject work's
R eally
O dious
J ust
E radicate the
C rappy
T hing

W ork?
O r just
R idiculous
K rapp?

I cant stand project work.
I dont know why but its the whole thing.
Really, the person who invented PW should be hung and shot.
It also doesnt help that im not really with people i'm close to.

Again, how did he manage to put me in such a group?

Why do we even bother to do project work?
it doesnt teach us shit nor make us grow closer to our group mates.
In fact, from what i've seen, all it teaches us how to pretend to be nice to people you are not really comfortable with.
Besides, from other groups, it actually creates tension among the people, and not make them grow closer.
Damn the bloody PW.

Since whatever i say after this would most prob be all swearing, cussing and probably full of slamming and all, i shall refrain, and just go pour out what i feel to the wall as i do not want to get sued.

But what to do?
i just have to suck it up and smile.
Do the damn PW.

As some big shot poet said:

Rage, Rage against the dying of the light,
Do not go gentle into the good night.

Bah!!!
Fuck that poet la, he didnt have to do project work.
So he can take his poetry, and shove it where the sun dont shine.
Then he can tell me where the lights dead.

Why im proud to be SIngaporean

1.Queuing.
A national culture which i try to do, but time doesnt allow me to.
It seems as if we queue for everything, even if it means we have to camp overnight in tents.

2.Value for money.
I always want to get the best put of everything, no matter how insignificant.
The only exception to this rule is when im studying.
I dont care if my teacher releases me 15 mins earlier.
I rejoice depite knowing i've paid school fees.

3.Singlish.
I donch know la, but its like that one la.
Gahmen say must stop Singlish, but Bo pian, part of our culture mah!

4.The PAP
We all complain how they are always doing irritating things like fining us and censorship.
We complain about their methods in ruling us, yet we know we'd all be crap without them.

5.Complain
It seems like a national pastime among all people, especially when one has free time.
When im with my friends, i find myself talking so much cock.
5.When we won the Tiger Cup.
I remember standing there as the national anthem was played, thinking what a great moment to be from Singapore as we whacked our ASEAN neighbours.

7.When i watched the Olympics and cheered on our ping pong stars.
There i was with so many other Singaporeans, urging and hoping for first Jing Junhong then Li Jiawei 4 years later.
There i sat in my living room like many other Singaporeans, hoping for our naturalised sisters to do us proud and bring home a meadl.

8.when i wacthed the songs segment of the NDP.
I remember just sitting there, and it finally hit me, this is my home, where i live, where i was borned.
I still recall the feeling a few years ago, with the hairs standing on my back.
I had that similar feeling this year too.


In a few years time, this list will have another addition in the form of NS which i will have to serve soon.

Another thing which is a hallmark of Singapore, exams which every kid has to go through.
A pain in the arse, which we know is a huge necessity.

41 years.....

I just realised a grave fact today.
Im proud to be a Singaporean, i just realised i've actually never watched one NDP from beginning to end.
Hard to imagine, but yes its true.
I cant even remember what happened when i went to the preview, because i got bored halfway.
I lways tell myself this is the year that im going to watch the full parade, but i'd lose interest half way and just cant be bothered.
This year, was a bit diferent.
I couldnt be initially bothered, but halfway decided to watch the ending.

Fireworks....
Could still remebered when we stayed in a flat, where i'd be able to see everything and be amazed.
This time on the ground floor, no luck in t hat.

But my favourite part was the part where kaira gong started the singing.
I felt proud to be a Singaporean as i felt the whole nation come to a standstill while we all sang the anthem and said the pledge.
Although, yeah i was eating dinner at the time.
But i could feel the hairs on the back of my neck standing.

This year, im going to make the same promise to myself just like i did last year.
Im going to watch the FULL parade next year.
From head to tail.

Teacher teacher, what is wrong with thou?

I have a teacher.
I dont know if she does it intentionally, but she just pisses the shit out of me.
My cheif gripe is that when she calls a test, she somehow manages to fall ill the day of the test.
So we have all busted our asses for NOTHING!!

Firt time
She said we have to study for the test.
Had to read the whole book.
Busting me arse like mad.
Then she said the test was next week.
Well done la.
I spent the whole weekend studying, and now i have to repeat it again.
fantastique.

Second time
After busting my ass reading the thing, she failed to turn up.
2nd week, same text, different method, but still no test.

third time.
She asked us to study a part no one studies.
Appendix.
i didnt even know its important.
And no prizes for guessing, but yes.
She failed to turn up and give the test to us.
Brilliant, just brilliant.

And the thing about her is that she is scary as hell.
Its something about the eyes.

But all credit to her.
She is a good teacher, who has earned my respect.
I just hope i get the good grade everyone says she is able to administer.